


Headcanon: Q and music

by Anyawen



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: M/M, Music, Playlist, sometimes q needs a good cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25238239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anyawen/pseuds/Anyawen
Summary: Sometimes, when he needs to let it all out and the tears won't come, Q finds release in listening to music.
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Comments: 18
Kudos: 32





	1. Q finds catharsis through music

**Author's Note:**

> Posted for the 2020 007 fest on Music Monday.
> 
> Fills 2018 anon prompt 'A fic (any pairing) that uses song lyrics, titles, albums, etc. as a centerpiece (plot, titles, lyrics in the story whatever), can be a traditional song fic or not, up to you'

Q sees a lot of ugliness in his job. Where there are cameras, he witnesses the horrible things done to - and occasionally by - his agents, the destruction that follows, and the bystanders caught in the crossfire. It’s brutal and it’s violent and it’s horrific, and he won’t turn away from it - both because his inattention may hinder his agent, and because someone should bear witness to the losses sustained.

As difficult as it is to imagine, sometimes the things that he hears are worse. Cries of alarm, shouts of horror, the pained grunts accompanying the slap of flesh hitting flesh, tortured screams ... and, occasionally, panicked panting that trails off to silence. He will not turn it off, will not step away, will not chance missing any hints his agents manage to gasp out that will lead him to their rescue, nor any information that can be gleaned from the conversations of their captors that will bring about their capture. He will not leave them to die alone.

He witnesses all of it.

It does not leave him unaffected. On comms, and later, for his team and the whole of MI6 as they deal with the fallout of a mission gone tits-up, he is stoic. He compartmentalizes the horrors he has witnessed and pushes through with the things that need to be done, organizing arrests, arranging extractions, sending teams to recover bodies …

At home, after such events, he’s quiet. Sometimes sitting with his cats snuggled tight against him, purring away, is enough.

Sometimes it isn’t.

Sometimes he needs to rage and scream … and cry, but the tears he needs to shed won’t always come.

When that happens, he has learned that he can trigger catharsis through music. The songs that work best have nothing to do with the stresses surrounding the monstrousness he witnesses, and everything to do with a more personal loss. He puts the pain of his own heartbreak to work, using it to break the dam stopping his tears from flowing and to let him find release.

The playlist he’s put together for this crosses all genres, and isn’t terribly long. It doesn’t need to be. These songs always reach him, always crush him, always leave him crying as he re-experiences the disbelief, and hurt, and resignation of love abandoned. And once the tears start, all the anguish comes out - the tears of one type of loss standing in for, and then becoming, a release for other griefs.

When the music ends, and the tears have stopped flowing, Q knows that James will be there, somber, and regretful, and resolute, and oh, so tender, to wrap him in his arms and comfort him.

Q's heartbreak playlist includes:

[Alchemy by Above & Beyond featuring Zoe Johnston](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfF9Ux4uN6Y)

[I can't make you love me by Bonnie Raitt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nW9Cu6GYqxo)

[What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qH4qyi1-Ys)

[When the Party’s Over by Billie Eilish](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbMwTqkKSps)

[When You’re Gone by Avril Lavigne](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c43cHJ4z3kA)

[Where Are You Now by Mumford & Sons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnGI_284rD0)

[Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Greenday](https://youtu.be/CnQ8N1KacJc)


	2. Q also finds joy in music

Q has a playlist on his phone. It’s not something he built for himself on purpose. Instead, it’s made up of songs sent to him by James. 

Sometimes these are earnest love songs, usually sent in the days after Q has had to resort to his heartbreak playlist to release pent-up stress through tears. James is well aware that his past actions caused Q tremendous pain, and when he’d finally pulled his head out of his arse and come home, he’d groveled, and he’d wooed Q as he deserved to be wooed. It took time, but he earned back Q’s trust, and claimed a place at his side. Still, he knows that the hurt lingers, and that when Q finds himself emotionally blocked from releasing stress through tears, he pokes the old wound through music and lets that pain surface to carry other griefs away.

James aches with regret each time the playlist comes out. He’s there each time Q surfaces from the turmoil of loss and horror, and a day or two later, he sends a link to a song expressing his utter devotion.

Because he is. Utterly devoted.

More often, he sends incredibly sappy songs that make Q roll his eyes and huff in annoyed amusement. 

Then there are the random songs that still manage to be apropos - to James, or to Q, or to their relationship. These songs often get a grin, or a groan, in response, but they never fail to make Q smile. These are James’ favorites, and Q’s, too.

James knows Q has a playlist that reminds him of the bad times between them. He’s made sure Q has a growing collection of songs to remind him of the good times, as well.

[Just a Gigolo/I Ain’t Got Nobody by Louis Prima](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kkrb4h4weW4)

[I’m Gonna Be (500 miles) by The Proclaimers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbNlMtqrYS0)

[If I Ever Lose My Faith In You by Sting](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cye8eT_eoqU)

[Dear Friends by Elbow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=behdhP4HOH0)

[When I’m 64 by the Beatles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckV2ogbt8W4)

[I Gotta Be Your Man by Randy Newman from Faust](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KD0_K7AJiZ0)


End file.
